What the fuck

"Why aren't there any alien invasions in England?" Sasha snuggled next to her girlfriend, who was currently browsing Netflix.

"Why would there be?" Serena continued browsing without looking at Sasha.

"I mean, there's invasions in America like every day, and aliens literally live there. When's the last time there were aliens in England? 2012?"

"America has Ben Tennyson. We don't have anyone special." Serena adjusted her position on the couch, still not looking away from the TV.

"Yeah, but it's boooring. I wish aliens could invade us, just once."

"Isn't it a good thing that aliens haven't invaded?" Serena clicked the remote. "Wanna watch Love Actually?"

"That's not the point! I just wish something would happen around here. We're gonna live our whole lives without seeing an alien up close, and yet my mom was around them all the time when she lived in New Jersey!" Sasha whined.

"I'm just glad I don't have to deal with all of that, honestly. You wouldn't like it if some alien pirate ship came out of nowhere and abducted you."

"That's very specific, but true." Sasha moved over and kissed Serena as they turned on Love Actually.

The next day, Serena was walking to school when a large, translucent pirate ship appeared suddenly in the sky.

"God damn it."

"You can't invade England!" Serena shouted at the voice.

"Why the hell not?" The voice sneered back.

"You have to have a license to do that!"

"What?!" The voice sounded shocked.

"Why do you think most species never bother?" Serena held back sniggering. "You can't invade England without an Invasion license."

"Really?" The voice paused. "Okay crew, we're gonna go to Canad- wait, why do I need a license?! Who's gonna stop me?"

"The BBC." Serena said like it was a fact everyone knew. "You should see what they do to people without TV licenses, imagine if they caught you without an invasion license?"

"What does BBC mean?!" The voice was getting angrier.

"Well, BBC is different from the BBC, but if you insist it means Bi-"

"Enough of this ridiculousness! I will conquer the BBC in their tracks if they oppose me! You are a suitable enough subject, I shall abduct you!"